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Play Date Ideas: 10 Screen-Free Things to Do, Ages 4 to 8
Play date ideas for ages 4 to 8, in the order you need them: ten screen-free things to do, from the awkward first 20 minutes to pickup.
Play date ideas work best in the order a playdate actually runs: something set out for the awkward first twenty minutes, one big activity, a game for when it wobbles, and a calm finish before pickup. Here are ten for two children aged 4 to 8, all screen-free, and almost all using things you already have.
A playdate is when your child has a friend round to play, usually for an hour or two after school or at a weekend, with you in charge. These ideas for playdates work just as well if you're the grandparent doing the school run. Two jobs before the doorbell goes: agree any screen rule with the other parent when you arrange it, and put away the two or three toys your child can't bear to share.
What do you do on a playdate?
Give it a shape. Have the first activity laid out before the guest arrives, so nobody hovers in the hall wondering what happens now. Then one big thing that needs both of them, a calmer game for when it goes wrong, and a clear ending.
Two children don't need ten activities. They need the next one ready.
If they play side by side rather than together at first, that still counts, especially the first time. Give each a job in the same game, one building the obstacle course and one timing it, and if the guest would rather sit with a book for ten minutes, let them. Our screen-free activities for kids has more for a quiet stretch.
Make the big play an active one if you can. For 5 to 18 year olds, NHS guidance is to aim for an average of at least 60 minutes of moderate or vigorous activity a day, and for 3 and 4 year olds, 180 minutes of daily activity should include at least 60 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous activity, the same figures as the WHO guidelines for under-fives. After a day at a desk, an obstacle course in the garden is a good home for some of those minutes.
10 play date ideas, from hello to pickup
Each idea carries the age it suits best. Start with whichever stage you're in.
The first twenty minutes
1. The floor drawing
Tape a long strip of lining paper or old wallpaper to the floor before they arrive, with pens at both ends. Nobody has to talk. Each child starts at their own end, and sooner or later the roads, rivers and monsters meet in the middle. Because it's waiting before the doorbell rings, there's no gap to fill. Good from age 4.
2. Find my pose
One child picks a pose from the mat and does it without saying which. The other hunts through the pictures, finds the match and calls out its number. Then swap. A turn each and no winner suits a shy guest. Our Sun Salutation mat makes this easy: its poses are numbered, with mouse as 1 and dancer as 15. No mat? Draw six animals on numbered cards.
3. The swap shop
Each child chooses three of their own toys to "sell" and sets them out on a cushion. They take turns buying with buttons for money, and everything goes back to its owner at pickup. It turns guarding the toys into the game, because showing off your stock is the fun part. Better from age 5, when they can count the buttons.
The big play
4. A picnic tea on the floor
A blanket, plates and the makings of tea: bread to butter, fillings to choose, fruit for you to slice. They set it out and serve each other, which keeps two children busy for longer than eating does. Check allergies with the other parent when you arrange the day. At 4, you butter and they arrange.
5. An obstacle course they design
Cushions to jump between, a broom across two chairs to crawl under, a hop to the back door and back. They build it together and you time each run with a stopwatch. Better from 6 for the designing; at 4, build it with them and let them choose the order. Keep it on carpet or grass, never up on furniture.
6. A puppet show
Odd socks with drawn-on faces, a table on its side for a stage, and a story the two of them agree. It needs both children, one puppet each, and it gives the next half hour a goal: a show for you at the end. Better from 6, when they'll plan the story. At 4, they'll skip the planning and go straight to the show.
When it wobbles
7. Partner poses
Stand side by side for double tree, inside arms round each other's waists, outside hands meeting in front. Then sit facing each other, hold hands and press your feet together for a wobbly boat. These two aren't on our mat; do them on the floor. There are more yoga poses for two to try. A squabble is hard to keep up when you need each other to balance.
8. Team balloon
One balloon, two players and a shared score. Count how many taps they manage before it touches the floor, then try to beat it together. Neither child can win against the other, so there's nothing left to argue about. Clear a space away from the television and anything breakable, and pick up the pieces straight away if it pops. Good from age 4, and still funny at 8.
The last fifteen minutes
9. Back-to-back drawing
Sit back to back with a pen and paper each. One describes a simple picture ("a house with a round window and a cat on the roof") and the other draws it without peeking. Then compare, laugh, and swap over. It's quiet and silly at once, and it brings the noise down before the door goes. Better from 6.
10. Something to take home
Their half of the floor drawing, a sock puppet, a paper aeroplane, a card for whoever collects them. Start making it with ten minutes to go, and say out loud that it's nearly time. It gives the goodbye a job, which is the gentlest way to end a playdate without tears. Good for every age.
Two playdates, timed to the minute
An after-school playdate for 4 and 5 year olds
Playdate ideas for 5 year olds work in short bursts, and 90 minutes is plenty. The floor drawing as they arrive (15 minutes), find my pose (10), a picnic tea (20), the obstacle course, built with you (20), team balloon (10), then something to take home (15). That's 90 minutes, with a grown-up close by for all of it.
A Saturday playdate for 7 and 8 year olds
Playdate ideas for 7 year olds can stretch further, and the same goes for 8. Over two and a half hours: the swap shop (15 minutes), the puppet show, made and performed (40), the obstacle course, designed by them (30), a picnic tea (25), partner poses (10), back-to-back drawing (15) and something to take home (15). That adds up to 150 minutes.
How long should a playdate be?
Shorter than you'd think. No official body sets a length, so this is our rule of thumb: about an hour and a half after school at 4 or 5, and up to two or three hours at a weekend by 7 or 8. Keep a first playdate shorter still.
End while they're still having fun. A child collected mid-giggle wants to come back. A child collected after the third falling-out remembers the falling-out.
Should children use screens on a playdate?
Your house, your rule. The trick is to say it when you arrange the playdate, so neither child, and neither parent, is surprised on the day. "We'll keep the tablets off this time" is easier said on the phone than at four o'clock to two children holding one.
Then make sure the question never needs answering. When someone asks for a screen, the next thing is already out: a turn at find my pose, or a balloon. If you do say yes to a film, put it at the end, with one screen they watch together.
More children, a party or a sleepover?
Three or more children change everything, and these ideas are built for two. For a crowd in the front room, our indoor party games for kids go from the loudest to the calmest. If the afternoon is turning into a night, our sleepover ideas take it from tea to breakfast.
And for a game where you call the shots, try these Simon says ideas or a round of listening games.
Frequently asked questions
What age do drop-off playdates start?
There's no set age, and no official guidance on it. Many children start going to a friend's house without a parent once they're at school, but it depends on the child and on how well the two families know each other. For a first one, invite the other parent in for a cup of tea, or keep it to an hour.
What food should I give children on a playdate?
Something plain that you already know your guest eats. Ask the other parent about allergies, and anything their child doesn't eat, when you arrange the day rather than at the door. Children often eat better when they've made it themselves, so a picnic tea they set out themselves does two jobs: it's an activity and it's tea.
What if my child won't share their toys on a playdate?
Before the guest arrives, ask your child to choose two or three special toys to put away. Then everything left out is for sharing, and you can say so calmly if a tussle starts. A game that needs both of them, like the swap shop or team balloon, takes the pressure off the toys altogether.
What should a child bring to a playdate?
Usually very little. A water bottle, a coat in case you go outside, and anything they need for an allergy or a medicine, handed to the host with a word about it. A toy from home can help a shy guest settle, but agree beforehand whether it's for sharing or just for holding.
A game two children can start without you
If you'd like something ready for the next time a friend comes round, our kids' yoga mats carry fifteen poses, each one numbered and laser-engraved, so one child can do a pose while the other finds it. They're full length, 183 x 61 cm, for ages 3 to 8, and £34.99 with free UK delivery. Buy two or more and you save 10 per cent, handy for brothers and sisters who'd each like their own.
