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Technoference: Parents' Phones and Children

By Chaz Bagri5 August 20268 min read

A mother looks at her phone while her baby plays beside her on the floor

Technoference is when a phone or screen interrupts time together. Where the word comes from, what the research shows, and four habits for busy parents.

Technoference is the everyday interruption of time together by a phone or other device. The term comes from research on couples, and has since been used to study parents and young children. Small studies link more of it with more behaviour problems in young children, but can't show which causes which. UK guidance asks parents to be mindful of phone use around children, not to give phones up.

This page is about the screen time we model, rather than the screen time we manage. It isn't here to make anyone feel guilty. Most parents' phones are also their work, their bank, their family group chat and the school's way of reaching them.

Where does the word technoference come from?

Technoference is a blend of technology and interference. It was introduced by the US researcher Brandon McDaniel and set out in a 2016 study with Sarah Coyne, published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture. That study was about couples, not children. It surveyed 143 married or cohabiting women about "everyday intrusions and interruptions due to technology devices, which we term 'technoference'". Women who reported more of it also reported more conflict over technology, lower relationship satisfaction and more depressive symptoms.

In 2018, McDaniel and Jenny Radesky, a paediatrician at the University of Michigan, applied the idea to parents and young children. Their paper in the journal Child Development defined technoference as "everyday interruptions in interpersonal interactions or time spent together that occur due to digital and mobile technology devices".

Note the word devices. Their study didn't only count phones. It asked parents how many times on a typical day a phone, television, computer, tablet, music player or games console interrupted a conversation or activity with their child.

What has the research on parents' phones found?

The 2018 Child Development study surveyed 170 families in the US, with mothers and fathers both answering, and children aged about three on average. Only 11 per cent of the parents reported no interruptions on a typical day, and 48 per cent reported three or more. Mothers' and fathers' problematic use of their devices went with more technoference, and more technoference from mothers went with more behaviour problems reported in their children.

Two big caveats come with that. It was a snapshot at one point in time, and the authors wrote that "it is important not to assume directionality". And all the information came from the parents themselves.

A follow-up study by the same pair, published in Pediatric Research, followed 183 couples with a child aged 0 to 5 over six months. It found the link ran both ways. Children's difficult behaviour predicted more technology interference later, through more parenting stress. And technology interference often predicted more difficult behaviour later. The authors suggested that parents under strain from a child's difficult behaviour may retreat into their devices during time together.

That's the honest version. A child's difficult behaviour can add to a parent's stress and make the phone more tempting, and more interruptions may in turn make that behaviour harder over the following months. It isn't proof that a parent's phone causes a child's behaviour. Each of these studies was small and relied on adults' own reports, and the two about children were of families in the US.

What does UK guidance ask of parents' own phone use?

The screen time page for under-5s on the government's Best Start in Life site has a section headed "How does my own screen use affect my child?". It says young children will copy your screen habits, and asks you to "be mindful of how often you use your phone around your child". It also warns that long stretches on the phone can make it harder to pick up on how your child is feeling or what they're up to, and that young children need attention and shared moments with the adults who care for them.

The same page asks families to:

keep bedrooms and mealtimes screen-free
try to keep background screens off, particularly at meals, playtime and family time
avoid young children using screens on their own, because it cuts into social time and active play

The UK Chief Medical Officers' 2019 advice for parents, which covers older children and teenagers too, notes that studies have reported children and young people worrying about their parents' screen use and wanting them to engage. It concludes that "adults can lead by example through not using screens excessively in front of children".

None of it sets a limit for parents. Our guide to UK screen time guidance quotes the rest of it, including its hourly suggestion for children aged 2 to 5.

Is every glance at your phone technoference?

No. The question researchers asked was about interruptions to "a conversation or activity you are engaged in with your child". Checking the train times while your four-year-old is absorbed in a jigsaw isn't that. Looking at your phone halfway through their story about the class hamster is.

That shifts the question from "how many hours am I on my phone?" to "which moments does it cut into?". A parent who works on a laptop through nap time and puts it away at teatime may have less technoference than one with half the screen time who checks it at every pause in a game.

Two quieter habits are easy to miss. A TV left on in the background can count, because the study's list of devices included the television, and the guidance separately asks families to try to keep background screens off. Then there are two screens side by side: your phone, their tablet, and nobody talking. It isn't an interruption in the researchers' sense, but it feels peaceful, and it's exactly the solo screen use the guidance asks parents of young children to avoid.

What helps when you can't just put the phone away?

Most advice says put the phone away. If your phone is how work reaches you, that isn't a plan. These four habits are aimed at the interruptions, not the hours. Our guide to reducing children's screen time covers meals, bedrooms and saying why you've picked your phone up, so these go alongside it.

1. Find out your own number first

Most phones have a built-in screen time report, and the Chief Medical Officers suggest using these features to keep track of how much time you spend on screens. Look at a week of it without changing anything. If it shows how many times you picked the phone up, note that, not just the hours. The pick-ups are the interruptions.

2. Guard the hinge moments

Pick two or three moments in the day when your child is most likely to want you: the first ten minutes after nursery or school, the meal, the bedtime story. Phone in a bag or on a shelf for those, and nowhere else to start with. Ten minutes of your full attention at pick-up is a realistic promise. A screen-free evening may not be.

3. When they start talking, turn to face them

Put the phone face down and look at them. According to Best Start in Life, young children "learn best through warm, responsive interactions with parents and carers", and a reply while you scroll isn't the same. If you genuinely have to finish something, say how long and keep to it: "One minute, then I'm listening."

4. Fewer pings, not fewer hours

Turn off the notifications that aren't urgent for the hours your children are awake, and check messages at set points instead. Work email can wait for the gap after bedtime. You'll probably spend the same time on your phone, with fewer interruptions in it.

The other half of the plan is what your child does while you're on a call you can't move. If the default is the tablet alone, the guidance has a view on that. Something screen-free they can do by themselves helps: a box of drawing things, a jigsaw, or one of our kids' yoga mats with 15 numbered poses a child can work through on their own. Our family screen time rules post has more on making the plan the same for every grown-up in the house.

Who can help if you're worried?

If your child's behaviour worries you, whatever you think is behind it, start with your health visitor or GP. They'll look at the whole picture.

It's also worth a word with your GP if you notice you reach for your phone to get through the hard parts of most days, or it's tied up with feeling low or overwhelmed. The research above suggests parenting stress can lead to more phone use during time together, and a GP can help with the stress side of that.

Frequently asked questions

What does technoference mean?

Technoference means the everyday interruptions to time together that come from phones and other devices. It's a blend of technology and interference. The US researcher Brandon McDaniel introduced it, and set it out with Sarah Coyne in a 2016 study of couples. It has since been applied to parents' devices interrupting time with their children.

What is parental technoference?

It's technoference between a parent and child: a phone, tablet or TV interrupting a conversation or activity you're sharing with your child. In McDaniel and Radesky's 2018 study, parents were asked how many times a day devices interrupted time with their child. Only 11 per cent reported none on a typical day.

Is it bad to use your phone in front of your child?

Not necessarily. The research measured interruptions to time you're spending together, not a phone simply being in the room. But UK government guidance says young children copy your screen habits, asks parents to be mindful of how often they use their phone around their child, and warns that long stretches on it can make it harder to spot how they're feeling.

How much phone use around children is too much?

There's no number. UK guidance sets screen limits for young children, not for parents. A more useful test is whether your phone keeps cutting into the moments your child is talking to you or playing with you. If it does, protect a few of those moments first, rather than trying to cut your total time.

Does background TV count as technoference?

It can. In McDaniel and Radesky's study of parents and young children, the devices counted included the television, computer, tablet and games console as well as the phone. UK guidance separately asks families to try to keep background screens off, particularly at meals, playtime and family time.

Sources

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