practice
How to Make a Feelings Chart Your Child Will Actually Use
Make an emotions chart with five faces and try a two-minute daily check-in, with ideas for ages 3 to 8 and children who don't want to talk.
How can you use an emotions chart at home?
When "How was school?" gets you nowhere, try an emotions chart with five faces: happy, sad, angry, worried and excited. Draw it together, let your child point to a feeling, then ask what would help. Try the two-minute check-in below after school or at tea, without expecting a long explanation or a happier answer.
An emotions chart pairs feeling words with pictures you can point to together. The NHS explains that naming feelings helps toddlers learn words for them. The point is understanding what they're feeling, with no prizes for choosing happy.
How do you make the five faces together?
Use a sheet of paper and colouring pencils. Draw five circles, write a feeling beneath each, and let your child change the faces or words. The Department for Education suggests using visual prompts when naming emotions in its guidance for early years providers in England.
- Happy, Drawing idea: A smiling mouth
- Sad, Drawing idea: A downturned mouth
- Angry, Drawing idea: Eyebrows slanting down
- Worried, Drawing idea: A wobbly mouth
- Excited, Drawing idea: Wide eyes and a smile
These are drawing prompts: ask what each face means to your child. Leave space underneath for "something else" and "I don't know".
Let your child choose the colours. Use a finger to point, so there's nothing extra to make or move.
When should you bring the chart out?
Choose an ordinary moment after school or at tea when you can listen. Introduce the chart during a settled moment: the NHS says upset toddlers find new information harder to take in. If they're already overwhelmed, our guide to staying alongside your child through big feelings explains that first response.
What can you say in a two-minute check-in?
Follow these six steps, giving each a little breathing room. The timings add up to two minutes; they're a suggested running order, with permission to stop sooner or listen longer. Anna Freud recommends accepting children's feelings and allowing their own words, which is the thread through the conversation.
1. Take your turn: 15 seconds
Point to your own feeling and give a small, truthful example, such as "I'm happy because we're sitting together", choosing words that actually fit your day. If your child copies your answer immediately, accept it and leave them room to choose again when it's their turn.
2. Invite a point: 20 seconds
Say, "Which face fits how you feel now?", and wait without filling the silence with guesses about their day or telling them which face looks right. If they point between faces, choose several or shrug, offer "something else" or "I don't know" and accept that answer.
3. Check you've understood: 20 seconds
Repeat their word gently, or ask, "Have I got that right?", then give them room to correct you without having to explain why your guess was wrong. If "angry" becomes "sad", follow their new word; there's no need to settle on a final answer for the chart.
4. Offer an opening: 20 seconds
Ask, "Do you want to tell me anything about that?", keeping your attention on their answer instead of moving straight to advice or another question. If you get a long story, listen beyond this suggested slot; if you get "no", leave the invitation open for later.
5. Choose what comes next: 30 seconds
Ask, "Would you like a cuddle, a movement together or some space?", then follow the choice you've agreed rather than assigning an activity to their feeling. If they want movement, let them choose something familiar; if they want space, agree where you'll be while they take it.
6. Finish with a quiet pause: 15 seconds
Say, "Let's sit here quietly for a moment", settle beside them and leave a little space before you both move on to whatever comes next. If they wriggle or giggle, keep the invitation gentle: nobody needs to sit motionless or change their face to complete the check-in.
How can you adapt the chart from 3 to 8?
Treat these as starting ideas and follow your child's preferred way of communicating. For ages 3 to 4, offer pointing while you say the words; for 5 to 6, invite a short sentence; for 7 to 8, offer extra words such as "disappointed" or "proud". Keep pictures available at every age.
For an older child, you could add "I feel ... because ..." and "I'd like ..." beneath the faces. Offer to write their words if they prefer. At any age, let them change an answer or leave the chart unfinished.
For other ways to practise together, explore our emotional regulation activities.
What if they refuse or stay upset?
Put the chart aside if it's becoming an argument. The NHS advises leaving the subject and returning later when a child doesn't want to talk. A drawing or your company can be the whole offer today.
If they choose several faces, don't insist on one. If none fits, ask them to draw their own. Keep any boundary separate from the label: as the NHS explains, a feeling can be accepted while pushing is still off limits.
If low mood or worry lasts, or you have serious concerns, speak to your GP or health visitor; health visitors support children up to age 5.
How do you keep the chart in everyday use?
Keep it beside your usual check-in spot and return to it after gaps without catching up on missed days. Invite your child to choose a familiar movement for each face if they want; let them repeat the same choice for different feelings. Paper and your company are enough to begin.
If movement becomes part of your check-in, explore our Sun Salutation design, with 15 numbered poses laser-engraved into the surface to choose from together.
Frequently asked questions
How many feelings should a chart have?
Start with five for this homemade chart: happy, sad, angry, worried and excited. Keep a space for another word or a drawing. Add more when your child asks for a feeling that isn't there, and keep any familiar words they still want to use.
What is a feelings scale for children?
A feelings scale shows how strong a feeling feels. For a homemade version, draw three boxes labelled 'small', 'medium' and 'big'. Ask your child which fits, then listen to their explanation. Use their answer to start a conversation, without setting a target score.
Where should the chart go?
Put it at your child's eye level beside somewhere you already sit together, such as the kitchen table or a quiet corner. Agree the spot with them. If they'd prefer privacy, keep the chart in a folder and bring it out together at check-in time.
What if my child always picks happy?
Take 'happy' as their answer and leave room for more: 'Anything else alongside happy?' You can also offer 'something different' or 'pass'. Avoid testing whether they've chosen correctly. Keep showing that every face is welcome, with the same unhurried attention whatever they pick.
