100 Jokes for Kids: Animals, School and Knock-Knocks

What's a good joke to start with?

Try this: "What do ducks put in their bath? Rubber people." Short jokes for kids about familiar animals are a useful starting point. Below are 100 clean jokes, from silly sounds to school puns, knock-knocks and Christmas crackers. Pick a few to say aloud, then let your child choose a favourite.

Read these aloud with children aged 3 to 8; no special equipment is needed. The age groups are suggestions, so start anywhere and skip unfamiliar words. The National Literacy Trust notes that four-year-olds start enjoying simple jokes, even when their own don't make much sense. Let a younger child supply an animal noise while you do the question. For more things to try together, browse our screen-free activities by age.

Which jokes can you try with ages 4 and 5?

Start with animals your child knows, then try the everyday objects. You can supply the question and let them repeat the answer. Stretch out a "baa" or "moo" if they want to join in, and leave the clever wordplay for another go.

1. What do ducks put in their bath?

Rubber people.

2. What do sheep say at bedtime?

Baa-bye.

3. Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To reach the other slide.

4. What's a cat's favourite game?

Hide-and-squeak.

5. What do frogs wear in the rain?

Their jumpers.

6. What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

7. What do you call a bouncing sheep?

A woolly jumper.

8. Where do cows go on Saturdays?

The moo-seum.

9. Why did the banana wear slippers?

To stop slipping.

10. What does a hungry train say?

Chew-chew, it's teatime.

11. What do you call a dinosaur in pyjamas?

A bed-asaurus.

12. What do mice sing at birthdays?

Happy squeakday to you.

13. What does a duck spread on toast?

Quackberry jam.

14. Why did the biscuit wear wellies?

It was going for a dunk.

15. What goes tick-tock, woof-woof?

A watchdog.

16. What do you call a rabbit's jumper?

A woolly hopper.

17. What do sheep count at bedtime?

People jumping over fences.

18. How does a penguin build a house?

Igloos it together.

19. What do you call a dancing lamb?

A baa-llerina.

20. Where does a rabbit park?

In a hopping space.

Which puns can you try with ages 6 to 8?

Try these when your child wants a word puzzle inside the joke. A pun plays with similar sounds or different meanings: "mews" sounds like "news", for example. Say the answer aloud, then explain the word if your child wants to know why it's funny.

21. Where do bees wait for the bus?

At the buzz stop.

22. What do cats read at breakfast?

The daily mews.

23. What's a frog's favourite flower?

A croakus.

24. Where do fish keep their money?

In the riverbank.

25. What do horses put on sandwiches?

Neigh-onnaise.

26. What do sheep spread on toast?

Baa-malade.

27. What do you call a gardening dog?

A border collie.

28. What do spiders do online?

Build their own websites.

29. How do snails send birthday wishes?

By shell-mail.

30. What music do rabbits dance to?

Hip-hop, of course.

31. What do cows spread on crackers?

Moo-zzarella.

32. How do owls say goodbye?

Owl see you later.

33. What do hens write in birthday cards?

Best clucks.

34. What's a potato's favourite sport?

Spudminton.

35. What do you call a musical vegetable?

A beet-boxer.

36. How do you fix a broken tomato?

With tomato paste.

37. What's a crisp's favourite dance?

The crunch-cha.

38. Where do peas go swimming?

In the pod-dling pool.

39. What did the stamp tell the envelope?

Stick with me.

40. What did the spoon tell the fork?

Stop poking around.

41. What did the kettle tell the teapot?

You're just my cup of tea.

42. Why did the sock feel lonely?

It missed its sole mate.

43. What's an astronaut's favourite drink?

Gravi-tea.

44. Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches?

In launch boxes.

45. Why did the lamp get promoted?

It had bright ideas.

46. Why did the umbrella get invited?

It had everyone covered.

47. What do you call a dinosaur's dog?

A tyrannosaurus fetch.

48. What do you call a rabbit comedian?

A funny bunny.

49. What do ducks order at a café?

A quackuccino.

50. What did the baker say after work?

I'm on a roll.

Which jokes can children take to school?

Choose a joke about an object or an imaginary animal, rather than someone in the class. Anna Freud advises against humour that upsets or excludes others. Practise the question and answer together, and save it for a moment when the listener wants a joke.

51. Why did the pencil win the debate?

It made a good point.

52. What does a book eat at lunchtime?

Alphabet soup.

53. Why did the pencil stay at home?

It wasn't feeling sharp.

54. What's a snake's favourite subject?

Hiss-tory.

55. Why did the glue get picked first?

It held the team together.

56. Which angle is never wrong?

A right angle.

57. Why did the full stop sit down?

It had finished its sentence.

58. What's a calculator's favourite holiday?

Sum-mer.

59. Why did the notebook join the band?

It was full of notes.

60. What do you call a school for giants?

A high school.

61. Why did the dictionary win the argument?

It had the last word.

62. What kind of school do surfers attend?

Boarding school.

63. What does a clock do at school?

Times tables.

64. What do librarians take fishing?

A box of bookworms.

65. Why did the chalk take a bow?

It had drawn quite a crowd.

66. What did the page tell the bookmark?

Thanks for keeping my place.

67. Which letter keeps asking questions?

The letter Y.

68. What's a pirate's favourite school lesson?

Arrrrt.

69. How do bees get to school?

On the school buzz.

70. Why was the ruler good at planning?

It took measured steps.

71. Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

He kept getting lost at C.

72. Why did the worksheet wear a raincoat?

It expected a brainstorm.

73. What's a shoe's favourite school subject?

Jog-raphy.

74. Why did the book join the police?

It wanted to go undercover.

75. Why did the schoolbag join the orchestra?

It could carry a tune.

76. Why did the library need a lift?

It had too many stories.

77. Why did the sandwich take a pencil?

To write a bread-time story.

78. What did the calculator tell the pupil?

You can count on me.

79. Why did the classroom door sing?

It wanted to make an entrance.

80. What do you call a bus of ducks?

A quack-and-ride.

How do these knock-knock jokes go?

Take turns being the caller and the person answering the door. Each joke starts with "Knock, knock" and "Who's there?" The listener repeats the visitor's name followed by "who?" before the final line. Say the names aloud; that's where the wordplay starts.

81. Alpaca

Knock, knock. Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca picnic, you bring the rug.

82. Doris

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked, that's why I'm knocking.

83. Owl

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Yes, that's what owls say.

84. Woo

Knock, knock. Who's there? Woo. Woo who? Glad you're enjoying yourself.

85. Cows go

Knock, knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo.

86. Water

Knock, knock. Who's there? Water. Water who? Water you doing out here?

87. Isabel

Knock, knock. Who's there? Isabel. Isabel who? Isabel working, or shall I keep knocking?

88. Wooden shoe

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like another joke?

89. Dozen

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anyone answer this door?

90. Justin

Knock, knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for tea.

Which Christmas jokes fit a cracker?

These Christmas jokes are short enough to write on a note beside a place setting. Choose a familiar character or food, and read the question before turning the note over for the answer. You can tell them aloud without making or buying crackers.

91. What do elves learn at school?

The elf-abet.

92. What's a reindeer's favourite game?

Stable tennis.

93. What do Christmas trees do after tea?

Watch their favourite pine-time programme.

94. What's an elf's favourite photograph?

An elfie.

95. Why did the present join the band?

It liked wrapping.

96. What do you call Santa at the beach?

Sandy Claus.

97. How do snowmen pay for their shopping?

With cold, hard cash.

98. What's a Christmas tree's favourite sweet?

Orna-mints.

99. How does a Christmas pudding say goodbye?

Have a berry nice evening.

100. Why does Santa have a garden?

He likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

What if your child would rather listen?

Let them listen, choose your next joke or leave the game altogether. If being watched isn't their thing, tell jokes side by side while you're waiting for the bus. There's no need to announce a performance to the room, ask for eye contact or insist they repeat it.

You can always offer another turn later.

If a punchline doesn't land, explain the unfamiliar word briefly and move on. You can enjoy the silly sound without working through the pun.

If you're worried about your child's speech or understanding, speak to your GP or health visitor. The NHS advises asking for support when you have concerns.

How can you help the punchline land?

Practise the question, pause for your listener's reply, then say the answer clearly. That's enough for a first go. Cover the answer while your child reads the question, then swap roles. Let them choose whether to rehearse with you or tell someone else.

Try these short rounds:

• Animal round: choose a sheep joke and a duck joke. You ask both questions; your child gives the answers. Swap, then let them choose which one to tell again.
• Wordplay round: choose a school joke and a knock-knock. Explain the tricky word first, then try the exchange without stopping. Keep favourite jokes for games on a long car journey.

The National Literacy Trust's Comedy Classroom resources use comedy writing to support speaking, reading and writing.

For a movement game after the jokes, explore Yogi-Me's mats. Each has 15 numbered poses laser-engraved into the surface: finish a pose, then swap turns telling your favourite joke.

Frequently asked questions

What are clean jokes for school?

Choose jokes about animals, food, letters or classroom objects, without swearing or making a real person the punchline. A talking pencil is fair game; a classmate's appearance isn't. Anna Freud advises keeping humour from upsetting or excluding others, and respecting someone who says a joke hurts.

Why do young children love toilet jokes?

Part of the appeal may be playing with what's allowed. A University of Bristol parent survey recorded young children enjoying taboo topics and using naughty words for humour. That doesn't mean every child enjoys toilet jokes. For a clean alternative, try the animal sounds or knock-knocks above.

What are good Christmas cracker jokes for kids?

Choose a short question with an answer you can say aloud easily. The elf-abet and Sandy Claus jokes above are good starting points. Read them together before anyone performs them, explain an unfamiliar word if needed, and let your child pick the joke they want to tell.

How do jokes help children learn language?

A joke gives you something to talk about: an unfamiliar word, a rhyme or a word with different meanings. The NHS says chatting with children helps them learn words and conversations. Explain the wordplay when your child asks, then let them try telling the joke back to you.

Sources

• National Literacy Trust: milestones for four-year-olds
• NHS: learning conversations and telling stories, ages 3 to 5
• Anna Freud: laughter and humour
• University of Bristol: scientists capture humour's earliest emergence
• National Literacy Trust: BBC Comedy Classroom
• NHS: help your baby learn to talk, including when to seek advice